Reality

Today was a rough one. I haven’t posted in a while because I haven’t had time to continue my journey to simple. Life continues on intruding in my plans and today was just like any other day in my life and I hit the breaking point.

It started off like any other Monday, I had spread myself too thin again and i was mad from the go. After my son got on the bus, I laid on the couch and went back to sleep, which I do way too often, and I know the consequence is I wake up MORE tired than the first time I woke up and then I am rushing around. Well, this time was no different and I had a consult for my laser hair removal that Kev gave me for Mother’s Day. My little man’s end of the year party was RIGHT after that and I didn’t want to be late. Well, I of course left with no minutes to spare and got there about 3 min late but the building was poorly numbered and I couldn’t find the suite number. So after 8 minutes of walking in circles I realized I had passed the office 4 times and kept walking right past it!!! (Of. Course). This is where my day took a turn and it all went down hill from there. I apologized for being 10 min late and they said they would be right with me. My appointment was at 12:10, is at down at 12:19. I was scheduled till 12:30 and I was hoping I would be out right at my ending time since G’s awards ceremony was at 1 and in was exactly 30 min away from the school. Well, at 12:30 I got up and asked if I could reschedule (what. A. Beeotch! I was late, and now I’m demanding to be seen) but they said they were going to be right with me. So at 12:40 I went back for a 5 min appointment. I RAN out of the building, and I SPED to the school, I got there right at the end of the awards and missed my little man get his AR reading award and ‘imagination’ award, but I got to see the slide show. My punctual hubby was there to represent (as always).

So I exhaled and went to lunch with my family and it was great. My little man said he would help at the salon so I could finish early and we could all go to the pool since they have been asking to do so since it opened 2 weeks ago. So, off to the salon we go to count inventory and finish upmsome work for a big software move that is happening tomorrow. I get there and my G impressed me with his skills. He was such a little man, counting inventory at his mom’s salon! Then it all started up again, it was taking me way longer to input info than I thought it would, then the Internet shut down on the computer, then Windstream was absolutely no help, the person from our software went home for the day, so I was screwed. I was losing control over everything around me and I just wanted to finish so my kids didn’t have a broken promise. They were losing patience and I couldn’t blame them. I had lost all patience. I was so frustrated I wanted to cry. I was mad because something was should have taken two hours was turning into 5. My best friend and I own a really busy salon and I am so blessed for that, so the Internet being down is catastrophic, specially on a Tuesday morning. I spent an hour on hold with the Internet provider to no avail. I finally called my hubby and asked If he would meet me so he could take the kids and I could concentrate.
Jess was there helping too, so I left her there.. Griping at the kids to hurry, as we are walking out my 4 yr old drops my ipad and cracks the screen. GGGRRRRRRRR AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! REALLY!?
My precious birthday present, that I managed not to drop since March!! One thing after the next all afternoon. I dropped the kids off, and hubby and kids were off to the pool. I cried all the way back to the salon, watching them leave again, to have family time while I work really got to me today. Took a deep breath and told myself to “change it” (attitude). I tell my kids all the time, ‘change it’, I tell Kev to ‘change it’, I tell my staff to ‘change it’. How is it that I allow myself to spiral into a day of negativity, raging madness, having a pity party all day?

Jess’ husband calmly helped us fix the Internet and we finished inputting the data. We got everything ready for the move tomorrow, I was feeling better, and then I went to open the new software and I got an error that says “this program is corrupt and cannot be opened”. AWESOME. Jess says “walk away!” So I do.

I got in the car and just drove home in silence. I tried to turn the radio up and the Dj at that moment says he’s praying for the families in Oklahoma who have been affected by the tornadoes that ripped through there today and then it hit me like a punch in the throat. GET OVER YOURSELF!
People were left without a home today, no food, lost loved ones!

What the heck is wrong with me!?! I am mad because the Internet is down at my incredibly successful, beautiful, exactly what I dreamed of salon that I own with my BEST friend; I’m mad because I was late to my perfectly healthy, incredibly bright sons party, I’m mad because I sat and waited for an appointment I was late to? Who cares. No one. Not even me anymore.
Wow, thanks for that Father. Heard ya, loud and clear.

I learned a few things today, and I think it applies to the change I am trying to make… I run behind at the salon and I know that people get annoyed, but I had never been on the other side of it. I disrespect my clients when I run behind and I don’t even think for a second that they may be stressed out about having to be somewhere right after they leave me. I am going to work on this. It’s part of my being ADD that I have absolutely no concept of time.
Having no concept of time ties into me spreading my self too thin. I have to learn time management, and priorities. Lastly, I have to learn perspective. I know that these ‘problems’ I encounter are a big deal to me, but they are things that can be fixed with patience. I am incredibly blessed daily. I know moms who are out there who’s kids are really sick, and they hurt every minute of they day with heart ache for their babies. I know women out there who have NO support from their spouse and deal with everything on their own. Business owners who’s hard work, sweat and tears are failing because of the economy.

I pray that I never have to know those pains. I am sorry for the rage I felt today. It was selfish and childish. I am grateful for having the moment of realization where I felt stupid for having freaked out over these things. I tell my kids constantly that things are just THINGS and then I freaked out over a cracked screen on a THING. It sucks yea, but I’m posting this from that cracked screen and it worked just fine.

My baby boy cooked dinner tonight ( with a little help ). He made my chili that I thought him to make and it was delicious. My house was clean (thanks to my amazing cleaning lady) and it smelled incredible.

I am blessed and my life will be simple, I know I will get there! I think days like today make me want to live my best life even more that before and give me a push to get back on the saddle. Tomorrow will be a great day!

I drove home the long way to go on this road that always calms my spirit, and it did… I love this road.
Xoxo

20130520-222922.jpg

1st day of ‘simple’

Alright, here goes the honest truth… Lol. This is ALOT hard than I thought. I am such a hypocrite. I’m not mad about it, I just had a complete life lesson on how materialistic I am. I walk around pretending to my self that I don’t care about material possessions, but when It came down to it I am so attached to my stuff I had a really hard time letting go of some stuff.

So last night I went in to tackle my closet demons… Now, don’t judge me… But it was a ridiculous disaster! I have documentation to prove what a mess I am. I already know this about myself (hence the reason I am trying to change) so no judgement needed thanks.

This is what I started with…. Eeeek.

20130401-204920.jpg

20130401-205156.jpg

All my ‘hand wash’ clothes, end up in a pile on my closet floor. When I can’t walk in anymore is when I know I need to wash :0/
If we move, I will not be able to do this anymore since my hubby and I will be sharing a closet (he freaked out when we walked through our potential house and he saw we had to share).

So it was 1 am (I believe 3 hrs in) and I gave up. This is where I finished:

20130401-205456.jpg

Not quite TEN days is it?? But I think considering where I started I did pretty well. I kept trying on clothes and attempting to keep stuff I haven’t worn in 2 years. I will post pics of my husband’s closet and mine when I finish (hopefully tonight).
SO here is what I had to consider that I hadn’t before I started: number one, I am a hair dresser, so fashion is part of what my craft. I have to have work clothes! So what I did was consolidate My closet into the smallest section I have. I thought that was a good start for my journey. I’m feeling good about it!

So today I spent the day with my best friend and business partner Jess. We went to ikea and purchased things we needed for the current expansion of our salon. We stained some wood that wears putting up on the walls (pics to come) and then I went grocery shopping. I think it was a pretty productive day. And then, this happened:

20130401-210252.jpg

That’s right!! I cooked dinner, AND I LIKED IT! Whoa, I don’t even recognize myself. I came home and cooked din din. Poured myself a glass a of wine, whipped my ipad out, set it on my kitchen counter and FOLLOWED A RECIPE while listening to some spotify! I know, I can’t believe it either.

20130401-210601.jpg

Yes, yes people that IS broccoli on MY plate. Just two pieces, but I ate it. Voluntarily. And I didn’t gag. Loving this..
Well, I’m off to finish my closet disaster! May need another glass of wine ;). Thanks for the ‘likes’ and the support.. I’m really excited for this journey!

Xo

My road to simple living…

My family has the opportunity to move to the area of our dreams. It’s where we spend most of our living time as far as work, church, and Luna has even been going to pre-school in this area for two years.
I have always ‘said’ that in my dream life we would have a small house with only the things we NEED. Each time we move I make myself a hypocrite. We move and I decrease in pricing, but not necessarily in square footage or even space.
Now, this opportunity has fallen in our laps. I put it out there and let go, and it came back to me completely unexpected but at e perfect time. Our lease is up in June and these people have approached me and asked if we would be interested in their home. It’s close to my salon (and that’s an understatement) and its just the right timing for us to move in. It is a lot smaller than out current home and we are going to have to make some adjustments.

The point is, I have the opportunity to live the life I have in my mind and written on paper, pinned on Pinterest, and dreamt about for a long time. I am taking the challenge and I am going to blog about it in order to keep myself accountable to LIVE it.

I started looking around last night at all the CRAP we have in our home that we don’t use. I looked up blogs on minimalists and learned some much already. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be a minimalist, I just want to live my best life and not be weighed down by useless possessions, or spending it washing and folding the ridiculous amount of excess clothing that we have. I like to have nice things, and buy new things, but I want to learn to be happy with he things I have and learn to live with the things I need. I want to love life with my family and teach my kids that possessions aren’t what define you.

I live soo unorganized, if it weren’t for my amazing cleaning lady, we would live in a constant mess. I like to clean, but I am soo lazy to ‘pick up’ that I just let the mess accumulate until it gets overwhelming. I HATE living in a mess, but I hate the petition of pickup up crap all day long. So I am looking to change this about me and and my family (Kevin is vey organized but you can’t see his neatness through my messes) and I a m going to simplify the way we live.

Anyway, these blogs had one thing that they all said I needed to do in order to shift to the simple life that I seek…

WHY?

They all said I have to write down why I want this.

I think I covered most of it above, but I guess I will summarize just for my benefit of keeping things clear. I know this is going to change once I change, but for now the reasons I want to do this are:

Less time cleaning and picking up
Less stress when I get home and am overwhelmed with chores
Peace of mind
More time with my family
Being a good foundation for my kids future as far as their expectations in life
Happy life
Freedom of material things
Freedom of ‘keeping up’ with others
Living beautiful in a reasonable size home

Another thing that they suggested I asked myself is:

How would my life improve if I had less stuff??

Well, for starters I wouldn’t have to find somewhere to put all this junk. If my kids had less stuff to make a mess with then our house would stay picked up!
If I had less clothing I wouldn’t have to spend DAYS catching up on laundry. My son has TWELVE pairs of jeans!!! Really?!?! SO wasteful. If I had smaller loads to do maybe I wouldn’t hate folding and putting away laundry as much as I do.
My garage wouldn’t look a tsunami came through and I would actually be able to park my car in it. I think over all I wouldn’t be as stressed because things wouldn’t take up my time and I could be more productive.

I read that MY version of simplicity will look different than others and I’m glad. I don’t wanna sleep on a mattress on the floor… I like having decor, I know some people are extreme and I admire that, but it is most definitely not my style.

Here is my first step toward my new simple life: Starting April 1st (and this is not a joke) I am living from one section of my closet as far as my wardrobe is concerned. I will pick out 10 days worth of clothing and for the whole month of April I will only be dressing from those key pieces! I think I will be able to be more creative with my outfits and I think I will love not being overwhelmed with too many choices! Lets see how this goes!

In the meantime, I will be de cluttering for 10-60min a day, different areas of my house. Yessssss can’t wait!

20130331-193303.jpg

Second entry… ONE year later

Really?!?! ONE year!!! Wow. What epic fail!  Wow. Well, hope you really enjoyed that lol!

Okay so I guess I update on what I’ve been up to in the last year…… Same things I was doing last year!  Easy read right?!  Well,  it’s a little more complex than that but basically I have been a mommy, wifey, hairdresser and salon owner!   Right now my life is pretty crazy since I am in the middle of expanding the salon! It has literally taken over my life and I was enjoying it until last week! I finally broke and spent all day crying Friday for all kinds of reasons.  Once I cried out all my frustrations, God gave my baby girl a virus so I can get my priorities straight and so I have spent this Easter Sunday cuddling of the couch with her and getting some much needed rest!  I am refreshed and ready for the week to come! Which brings me to my NEXT post! This one is pre-written and so I am just going to copy and paste what I have written but its basically  about my attempt to live a simpler life…… yea, yea, yea… That’s why I said ATTEMPT.

Well, here we go again… Lets hope it’s not another year before my next post! I a, REALLY trying here people, help me out :/

My First Entry

Hello to all… For my 30th birthday I decided to give my self a blog as a gift!  Since my introduction to Pinterest, I have been reading blogs and I am so envious of these people for having their lives documented!  Soooo I decided to document mine!   The thing is, I don’t have a very ‘pretty’ life like those people do.  I am a HOT mess, and I think blogging about it may help me either with just the simple fact that I can vent about it, or with accountability because at some point I may get embarrassed of what a serious disorganized mess I am.  So please don’t expect any ‘organizing ideas’ or any ‘I distressed my own furniture’ or ‘here is the amazing dish I slaved over the stove for to make dinner for my family’ posts.  Because THAT is NOT my life.

My posts will probably consist of all the ‘last minute’ things I had to get done, ‘oh look I made my bed! (for the 1st time in a month)’.  Not very entertaining to you probably but like I said, I’m doing this blog for me, because I would like to be honest with my self about my hot mess of a life, and learn to embrace it (now that I’m feeling a little old being 30 and all)

If you’d like to join my journey, I welcome you. And if some day soon I start doing DYI posts, please don’t call me a hypocrite! I am telling you, all the blogs I read are my inspiration! My dream life would consist of being on time to everything, having a perfectly organized home, clean car, following lists every day, remembering to put things in my calendar and actually follow my calendar, cooking dinner every night, and being a vegetarian (which is kinda hard since I despise all fruits and vegetables).  I WANT to be OCD and I WANT to be organized.  I called my blog “the whitish picket fence” because people often tell me I have “the white picket fence” life, with the hubby, the two kids and the two dogs. What they don’t know is that it may seem like it, but it’s actually off white or white-ish…because I may seem to have it all together, but all I do every day is try to keep up!!!   Let’s see what happens…..